


Safety Nets and Secrets

by writingfromdarkplaces



Series: Love's Illusions [1]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friendship, Some Humor, possible crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 03:58:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8474467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingfromdarkplaces/pseuds/writingfromdarkplaces
Summary: Tony was right. Ellie was catfishing them the entire time.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This little idea came to me as I was trying to sleep last night. I'm not sure why, but I did like it, a lot, so... here it is.

* * *

“I need your help. Again.”

Jake looked up from his desk with a small smile. He would have expected nothing less of her, force of nature that she was. He set down his pen, leaning back in his chair. “You haven't forgotten that you no longer work here, right? If you have some kind of legal issue, I'm sure that your new agency has a legal department that can assist you.”

She grimaced. “That is... not the kind of help I need to ask you for.”

Jake frowned. He wasn't sure he liked the sound of that. He almost didn't want to ask her if this was what he thought it was. “Bishop, we always had a fairly decent working relationship despite that whole thing with Parsa and some other unfortunate incidents, but I'm not sure—”

“Do you remember that discussion we had over those cheese puffs at Chez Nicole when you and I were discussing the legal implications of one of my ideas?” Bishop asked, coming closer to the desk. She could use a chair, but he didn't have a spare one in his office. 

He tried to remember which conversation that was. He thought he should know, but he had a hard time keeping things straight. “Maybe you should be more specific. I think we did actually go there more than once, and you've had a lot of theories and playbooks raise issues that concerned people. Even scared them, a few times.”

She grimaced. “I know. I can't—the idea was to find potential threats and stop them and—”

“I know, and you're one of the best I've ever seen,” Jake told her. “What did you need help with again? It's not legal—it's not a case for NCIS, is it?”

“I... it involves NCIS, but it's not a case,” Bishop told him. She held up her left hand, and he finally understood. “I've been putting them off about meeting my husband since I started working there. I didn't think when I first worked with them on that assignment that it was going to lead anywhere, and since two guys were there, looking over my shoulder... I didn't tell them that the band wasn't real. I used the safety net... and it just kind of... snowballed.”

Jake leaned back in his chair. “So... you've been there a year now and have yet to admit that you're not actually married.”

She folded her arms over her chest. “You've been here for a lot longer and most people assume you are. You're as guilty as I am.”

Jake grimaced. He knew he was. He had started wearing his own safety net back in college, as soon as he really understood how little appeal he had outside of his family's money. He found friends first, and a few times he'd admitted the truth. While none of those relationships had worked out, his secret was safe.

“So... are you wanting a fake divorce decree? That really isn't my legal specialty—”

“Actually, I was hoping you'd pretend to be my fictional husband for a day.”

“What?”

“Five minutes, tops. Just stop in to see my team, say hello and goodbye. I'll brief you on everything you need to know, you don't have to do any displays of affection, just... stand in for day. Not even a day—I was thinking we're on our way out of town for the holiday. Turks for Turkey day.”

Jake frowned. “Why would I do this? Why ask me? You know I'm a terrible liar, and I've heard horror stories about that agent you work with—”

“Gibbs may already know, but it's not him I'm worried about,” Bishop said. “Five minutes, tops. That's all I need.”

“You do realize this is only going to make things worse.”

She sighed. “I know. It's not ideal, but it's not like you've ever come clean about yours.”

He sighed. “I should never have told you about that.”

She shrugged. “We both had our reasons for what we did and our reasons for wanting to keep that secret.”

He knew most people would have the wrong idea about his, though he didn't know about hers. “Isn't there another way?”

“Not really. Jake, please. I'd have asked Flynn—”

“He's dead.”

“I know. So... The only other person I can ask is you. We... are friends, right? And friends help each other out. It's not like you couldn't ask me to do the same. What about that charity event your family hosts every year that you hate going to and hate having no one to talk to—”

“So, wait—if I agree to pretend to be your husband for five minutes, you will dress up, go with me to the charity ball, and stay there for at least an hour?”

“Yes.”

“You _are_ desperate.”

She held up a hand. “You have to buy the dress.”

“Deal.”

* * *

“Thank you again for doing this,” Ellie said, walking with Jake into the airport. She knew that they probably could have parted ways by now, but she'd asked for a bit more from Jake, and he'd agreed. He'd been the right one to ask, even if he was the only one she could have asked.

“I can't believe we pulled that off,” Jake said, shaking his head. “Are you sure I was okay?” 

“You heard Abby—you were adorable,” Ellie told him, though she did hate lying to Abby. She'd have to come clean later.

And Abby was right—Jake had been adorable. It almost made her regret having everything be a lie. He'd made a few small gestures—little things—but they'd been perfect, and he almost was just that—perfect. 

“But that Gibbs—I was babbling away about Turkey,” Jake said, wincing, though personally Ellie had found that adorable herself, “and he's just looking at me with that look.” 

“The Gibbs look,” Ellie said, since she'd done her best to warn him about that. She wasn't sure that Gibbs had bought their act, but she hadn't actually thought that they would fool him. Mainly she'd been concerned with the one person that wasn't there. “Hello? Did you think I was making it up?”

Jake shook his head, and she laughed. She couldn't help it. The fact that he was worried about making a bad impression as her fake husband was just so... sweet. “You were great. Really.” 

He nodded, going over to the flight arrival board. She knew he was supposed to fly out later to meet his family—that part wasn't a lie—but she was a little sorry their paths were about to separate now. She'd enjoyed his company. She had before, but she'd forgotten just how much.

“You okay?” Ellie asked, watching him fidget. “You seem on edge lately. The flight?”

“No, no. I'm good flying,” Jake said, but something was definitely bothering him. She might not know him that well, but she did know that much. Maybe he was more nervous than she'd thought, though he should be fine. It was over now. They'd made it through the worst of it at the office. “Just, um, I don't know, the holidays, I guess. I'm fine.” 

“Okay. We are so overdue for this,” she said, leaning against him as she looked up at the board. He could try and deny it, but he'd admitted this was the first trip for him in over two years. “Ah. Sun, sand, warm, blue water...”

“It's not as warm as you'd think this time of year,” a familiar voice said, and she was suddenly very glad that she'd convinced Jake to continue the act for a little longer. 

“Tony,” Ellie said, turning to face him. 

He rose from the chair, smiling as he did. “I thought I was gonna be stuck all by my lonesome when they announced Dad's flight took off late, when what should appear but a Thanksgiving miracle.”

“Agent DiNozzo, I presume?” Jake said, and she silently thanked him for jumping in again. She owed him so much more than a few hours at a charity party. She was so making this up to him later.

“The elusive Jake,” Tony said, shaking Jake's hand. “It's nice to know Bishop hasn't been catfishing us all year—I was starting to wonder.” 

A part of Ellie wanted to laugh. He would have been right, and he was, technically, but Jake had agreed to this, and it had all worked out. Almost perfectly. 

“Well, you can stop wondering, Tony,” Ellie said, wrapping her arm around Jake's. He smiled at her. “As you can see, Jake is quite real.” 

Tony gave Jake another appraising gaze. “Unless he's a hologram that can shake hands.” 

Jake was clearly more at ease here than he had been before, since he added in some teasing. “NSA's actually working on one of those—I've seen the prototype.”

“Yeah, that'd be pretty fun,” Tony said, laughing. Then he sobered. “Really?” 

“No.”

“Ah. Aha. Had me for a second. That's too bad—'cause I'd like one of those,” Tony said, not the only one that would have. He turned to Ellie. “I like him. He's quick.”

Ellie smiled. She was afraid she liked Jake, too.


End file.
